The Power of Unity: We are all in this together

Conscious Discipline (a social-emotional learning program) focuses primarily on

parents developing self-regulation skills, to then support their child with

developing self-regulation strategies. The program consists of seven powers

that focus on the development of healthy and safe connections between

children and their caregivers.  The Power of Unity focuses on the big idea of

"We are all in this together". Humans are wired to connect and to be of service

to one another. Separation from one another develops judgment and

competition. Helping one another develops empathy, compassion, and the

ability for a child to recognize how their own unique gifts can contribute to the

betterment of their home and community.

How do we teach children to be helpful? One way is to notice when the child is

already being helpful.  For example: "You opened the door so that I could bring

in the groceries”. “That was helpful".  Sometimes we have the tendency to only

notice and comment on the negative behaviors of a child.  Instead of this, we want to

encourage the child by noticing how their positive behaviors contribute to the

welfare of others.  We also want to encourage children when they are struggling

with their choices. For example: "You almost did it.  Try again.  You can do it!"

Finally, there are structures that you can put into place that will also encourage

kindness and helpfulness.  For example:

Jobs: Jobs encourage self-worth, responsibility, and unity.  Examples of jobs:

help clean off the table after dinner, put away laundry, help carry in the mail, etc.

To ensure that the child is successful at the job, make sure the job is age-

appropriate.

Kindness Tree or Jar: Write the person’s name and the helpful act on a piece

of paper.  Read the acts together and recognize the way the person was kind

and helpful to others. Save the papers in a jar or post them as leaves on a

picture of a tree with branches

Kindness Conversation: Each day or night, ask, "What was one helpful thing

you did or saw someone else do today?"

By: Tiffany Traub LSCSW, LCSW, RPT

Resources:

• I love You Rituals, Becky A. Bailey, PH.D

• Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills For Turning Conflict into

Cooperation, Becky A. Bailey, PH.D.

• Managing Emotional Mayhem: The Five Steps for Self-Regulation, Becky A.

Bailey, PH.D.